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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Spotted on Facebook:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Making waves on YouTube:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Making waves on X:

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

Seen just now on Slack:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Just shared via Threads:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

55 Funny fantasy quotes

More funny fantasy quotes 👇

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

3 weeks ago

asked, belief, boyfriend, conversation, elf, fantasy, fun, humor, i, relationship, trolls
Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

3 weeks ago

activity, creativity, example, fantasy, fun, fun activity, game, games, great, house, job, let, Sims, simulation, The Sims, try, video, video game
According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

3 weeks ago

energy, fantasy, Gollum, handsome, Hobbit, humor, irony, life, man, men, once, ring, think, young, youth, zest
I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

3 weeks ago

dark, dark humor, eaten, ending, expectation, fairy tale, fairytale, fantasy, humor, i, irony, plan, still, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking, wolf
Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

3 weeks ago

beautiful, beautiful name, boy, boys, boys’ names, culture, fantasy, Frodo, humor, name, names, pop, pop culture, ring, wordplay
Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

3 weeks ago

actual, appearance, character, fairy, fairy tale, fantasy, grandma, hood, humor, little, little red riding hood, red, riding, storytelling, tale, talk
The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

3 weeks ago

afford, being, carrot, carrot peeler, fantasy, house, humor, millennial, neighborhood, peeler, professional, salary, Sims, walkable, walkable neighborhood
In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

3 weeks ago

alternate, alternate universe, dreams, fantasy, humor, imagination, me, sex, universe
Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

3 weeks ago

adventure, annoying, brave, bravery, destroy, fantasy, friend, Frodo, Hobbit, humor, little, lord, mission, ring, rings, save, save world, story, world
Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

3 weeks ago

adventure, dangerous, dangerous journey, fantasy, friendship, Frodo, Gandalf, gardener, humor, journey, lord, Lord of the Rings, rings

For even more funny fantasy quotes, hit next 👇

All funny fantasy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Threads this month:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

75 shares on Discord this month:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

33 shares on Threads this month:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Just shared via Reddit:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Spotted on Discord:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Just landed via Slack:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Going viral on Facebook:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Just landed via TikTok:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Activity Log ✨

55 Funny fantasy quotes

More funny fantasy quotes 👇

All funny fantasy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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