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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Breaking via Discord:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Going viral on Telegram:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Just shared via Facebook:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Spotted on Slack:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Going bananas on Slack:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Making waves on Messenger:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Home » Funny Fit Quotes » Page 2

25 Funny fit quotes

More funny fit quotes 👇

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

0

2 months ago

consequence, fashion, fit, fun, game, humor, jean, jeans, reality, weight
You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

0

2 months ago

celebration, clothes, family, fit, food, humor, know, longer, overeating, success, successful, Thanksgiving
Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

0

2 months ago

bonsai, bonsai tree, broccoli, challenge, Chinese, Chinese restaurant, chop, dining, dining experience, dishes, eating, eating challenge, experience, feel, fit, food, food joke, humor, i, joke, mouth, restaurant, restaurants, tree, trying
I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

0

2 months ago

else, everyday, everyday life, everyone, fashion, fit, hope, humor, i, life, pants, put, still, struggle
Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

0

2 months ago

dress, eating, effort, enough, fit, fitness, food, humor, later, lifestyle, making, marriage, still, wedding, wedding dress
I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

0

2 months ago

authority, being, fit, good, home, humor, job, job market, market, nonconformity, personal, personal values, sarcasm, self-righteousness, strengths, traditional, values, workplace
A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

0

2 months ago

clever, clever man, closet, clothes, fit, humor, jealousy, man, other man, relationship, wife’s, wife’s closet
I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

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2 months ago

again, bag, blood, blood pressure, fit, free, handy, humor, i, irony, kit, never, once, pressure, relatable, stuff, take
One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

0

2 months ago

amazing, amazing fact, basketball, fact, fit, hoop, humor, nature, observation, perfect, perfect fit, size, sports, things
If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

0

2 months ago

die, diet, eat, exercise, fit, fitness, health, humor, irony, life, lifestyle, well

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All funny fit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

95 shares on X this month:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

17 shares on Discord this month:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

23 shares on Threads this month:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

76 shares on Threads this month:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Seen just now on X:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Live now on Discord:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Live now on WhatsApp:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Just shared via WeChat:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Just landed via Telegram:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Making waves on YouTube:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Going bananas on X:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Activity Log ✨

25 Funny fit quotes

More funny fit quotes 👇

All funny fit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨