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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Going viral on Messenger:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Just shared via WeChat:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Just landed via Facebook:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

403 Funny health quotes

More funny health quotes 👇

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

2 weeks ago

health, hospital, humor, just, media, mental, mental health, mental hospital, online, online platform, platform, satire, social, social media, Twitter, virtual
Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

2 weeks ago

brain, calling, fit, gen, Gen Z, health, humor, language, lobobo, lobotomy, meme, mental, mental health, slang, z
Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

2 weeks ago

health, humor, joy, lead, media, mental, mental health, news, optimism, positivity, relief, security, sense, stress, stress relief, warning, watching
Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

2 weeks ago

cycle, frustration, health, hour, humor, joke, just, last, leave, menstruation, period, point, pregnancy, pregnant, time, why, women’s, women’s health
Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

2 weeks ago

balance, before, care, cycle, education, good, health, humor, idea, life, mental, mental cycle, mental health, putting, self, self-care, stress, student, student life
Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

2 weeks ago

appointment, care, crying, health, humor, mental, mental health, self, self-care, therapy
I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

2 weeks ago

again, animal, capybara, emotional, emotional support, health, humor, mental, mental health, pet, support, support animal, waking, waking up
“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

2 weeks ago

attitude, close, crazy, entitlement, even, health, humor, legal, legally, mental, mental health, personality
Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

2 weeks ago

anxiety, being, cause, disappointment, health, humor, irony, main, mental, mental health, people, people pleaser, pleaser, pressure, self-esteem, social, social pressure
My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

2 weeks ago

brain, brain tumor, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guess, headache, health, health humor, humor, joke, lack, lack of sleep, malnutrition, medical, medical joke, migraine, poor, poor position, position, sleep, stress, tumor

For even more funny health quotes, hit next 👇

All funny health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on X this month:

I’m tired of things costing money.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

57 shares on Twitch this month:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

23 shares on Discord this month:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Making waves on Slack:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Seen just now on Discord:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Making waves on Instagram:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Just landed via Instagram:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Activity Log ✨

403 Funny health quotes

More funny health quotes 👇

All funny health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨