Commentary:
Haha, same here—just auditioning for *The Voice* in my head! 🎤🚿😂
Tag Archives: 5673 Funny i quotes
“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?
Commentary:
Haha, same here! Can I get a “calm” pass, please? 😂🙈🧘♀️
Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.
Commentary:
"With my track record, I'd need a whole traffic management system 🤯🛑🚗💬"
I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.
Commentary:
"When my phone rings, I panic like it's a fire drill… aren't phones just for memes? 📞➡️🙅♂️😂"
I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.
Commentary:
"Right?! If only adulting came with scream breaks. 🙃🎉😱"
I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.
Commentary:
Streets be spillin' the tea I just brewed ☕️🤫😂
Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”
Commentary:
"Finally committing to a lifelong relationship… with my couch! 🛋️💔😂 #LoveAtFirstSit"
This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.
Commentary:
"Sounds like you had a productive day of avoiding productivity! 😆🛋️📱 #DoomScrollingPro"
Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.
Commentary:
"Me skipping the midnight cookie: tomorrow, I'm expecting to wake up as a runway model. 😂🍪💃"
I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.
Commentary:
"Financial goal: Wallet of wonder, where blessings overflow like a leaky faucet! 💸🤲😄"