Commentary:
Oh, "AI is coming for your jobs!" 🤖💼 Good luck to AI sending those 5 emails a day and managing their fantasy football line-ups for 8 hours straight! 📧🏈 Maybe AI needs a coffee break and a motivational cat meme to keep up with the daily grind! 😆☕🐱

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.
Commentary:
"Oh, imagine the morning commute in a tank! 🚗💨 No need to honk when you can just roll over the slowpokes in front of you. Just watch out for those pesky speed bumps… and your boss's parking spot! 🛢️💥 #TankGoals"

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.
Commentary:
"Who else feels misled by our childhood expectations? I was fully prepared for a life of dodging secret passageways, but all I got was the ol' weight gain and existential dread combo deal 🤷♂️🔮 Keep calm and watch out for that quicksand, folks! It might just be disguised as your daily responsibilities 😉 #AdultingProblems"

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.
Commentary:
"Who needs dating apps when you can have the riveting experience of conversing with tech support for hours without any progress 😂💔 #ModernDatingStruggles"

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.
Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' days of answering the phone blindly 📞😱 It was a wild time of thrilling unknowns! Ring, ring – cue the daredevil 'hello' 😆 Who needs caller ID when you've got nerves of steel? 🦸♂️💥 #BraveAnsweringSkills"
Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of wanting to go off the grid so badly, you actually consider becoming a missing person 🕵️♂️💼 Just imagine the adventures that await in the land of Missing- where chores and responsibilities are but a myth! Good luck convincing your boss you're on a business trip to Missing though 🤣🗺️ #WhereInTheWorldIsUser

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.
Commentary:
Sounds like you were the official "hide and seek" champion of your high school years! 🏆 It's all fun and games until someone gets spotted first! 🔍😄
Commentary:
"Looks like I took the phrase 'stay for dinner' a little too literally! 🦃🍽️ Who knew I'd become your unexpected houseguest extraordinaire?😄 #ThanksgivingForever"
Commentary:
"Oh, the ultimate twist in spa history! The massage therapist becoming the massagee 🤣💆♂️ Who knew self-care could involve such a role reversal! #MassageTherapistGoals"
Commentary:
"Talk about being willing to go the extra 'spin cycle' for someone! 🧺💕 Who knew laundry could be so seductive? Sounds like this person is hoping to get 'folded' into someone's heart on the daily! 😂✨ #LaundryLove"