1560 Funny joke quotes

• What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

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  4 months ago

  buddy, finance, humor, i, joke, money, net, net worth, own, pun, wordplay, worth

• I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

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  5 months ago

  blame, cemetery, confused, confusion, cost, cost of living, death, expense, funeral, humor, inflation, joke, living, price, prices, raise

• Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

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  5 months ago

  apology, boop, button, communication, hoping, humor, i, joke, mute, mute button, nose, sorry, sound

• Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

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  5 months ago

  adulting, debt, finance, humor, i, joke, just, last, lot, money, mortgage, mortgage payment, paying, payment, sarcasm, still, yay

• I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

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  5 months ago

  better, carpenter, humor, i, Jesus, joke, know, plumber, religion, thing, think, water

• “Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

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  5 months ago

  American, American humor, Americans, burger, food, food metaphor, Funny, funny phrase, humor, imagine, joke, language, metaphor, nothing, nothing burger, phrase

• Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

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  5 months ago

  change, Cinderella, credit, credit score, finance, financial, financial joke, humor, i, joke, life, life change, night, night out, nightlife, personal, personal finance, score, spending

• Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

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  5 months ago

  ahead, bargain, couple, discount, dollar, Dollar Tree, dollars, humor, joke, just, money, name, needs, price, retail, shopping, store, store name, tree

• I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

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  5 months ago

  athletic, athleticism, confidence, humor, i, intelligence, joke, keep, man, most, sarcasm, scrolling, second, self-deprecating, world

• “I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

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  5 months ago

  access, finance, good, house, humor, i, internet, joke, leave, money, online, online shopping, personal, personal finance, pretty, self-control, shopping, spending

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