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Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,764

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Just landed via Facebook:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Freshly posted on X:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Breaking via Threads:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Trending via YouTube:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Home » Funny Joke Quotes » Page 156

1558 Funny joke quotes

More funny joke quotes 👇

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

0

5 months ago

attitude, bit, everything, humor, joke, little, me, sarcasm, unfortunately, wit
I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

0

5 months ago

clothing, dental, dental floss, fashion, floss, hot, humor, i, joke, lingerie, put, red, wanted, wear
This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

0

5 months ago

after, cost, cost of living, faith, humor, Jesus, joke, life, life cost, living, paid, payment, religion
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

0

5 months ago

bullshit, confusion, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, idea, joke, just, muscle, muscles, targeted, training, workout
My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

0

5 months ago

center, data, data center, different, girlfriend, humor, joke, know, relationship, tech, tech joke
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

0

5 months ago

boy, boys, cool, humor, joke, me, milkshake, reach, shelf, top, top shelf, yard
Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

0

5 months ago

bite, dating, humor, insect, joke, match, me, mosquito, right, seems, swipe
No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

0

5 months ago

babe, humor, joke, just, love, partner, relationship, soulmate, worry

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Twitch this month:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Spotted on Threads:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Just landed via TikTok:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Making waves on TikTok:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Going viral on Snapchat:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Shared recently on Discord:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Going viral on Discord:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Activity Log ✨

1558 Funny joke quotes

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All funny joke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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