1015 Funny joke quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

  Commentary:
  "Guess I'll be forever young at this rate! 😂🎈👴"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

  Commentary:
  "Revenge? I prefer to call it 'strategic planning for future laughter.' 😂🗡️🎭"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

  Commentary:
  "Memory of a goldfish in training! 🐠 P.S. If you see my keys, remind them who I am! 🔑😂"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

  Commentary:
  "When opportunity knocks… or rather, flushes! 🚽🤣 #BathroomBreaksAreTheNewSnacks"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

  Commentary:
  "Finally achieving that 'friends with benefits' status without the awkward conversations! 😂👏 #LifeHack"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

  Commentary:
  "Totally agree! Just texted Batman about it 😂🦸‍♂️🎤"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we're carpooling to the hot spot! 😈🔥 #HellMates"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

  Commentary:
  "You're the 'S' to my 'HTTP', without you I'm just a bad connection! 😂💻💕"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: “You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

  Commentary:
  "Life goals: Make my cat the sole beneficiary of my will. 🐱💸 #Priorities"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

  Commentary:
  "When you're expecting a romantic view but get toe-tally surprised instead! 🤦‍♂️👣🤣"

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