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1018 Funny joke quotes

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3 weeks ago
Share →: Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Commentary:
"You're the 'S' to my 'HTTP', without you I'm just a bad connection! 😂💻💕"
3 weeks ago
Share →: “You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Commentary:
"Life goals: Make my cat the sole beneficiary of my will. 🐱💸 #Priorities"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Commentary:
"When you're expecting a romantic view but get toe-tally surprised instead! 🤦‍♂️👣🤣"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Commentary:
"When your name is practically a job description, you're destined for greatness! 😄👨‍💼 #JustAGuyThings"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Commentary:
"When curiosity calls and logic doesn't pick up! 🤔📞😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Commentary:
"When you find out your face has settings other than 'Resting Confusion' 😂🤔👍 #UpgradeUnlocked"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Commentary:
"When multitasking means hiding the chin and changing the view! 🤠😂 #DoubleChinMagic"
3 weeks ago
Share →: There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Commentary:
"Just waiting for one of them to say, 'These aren't the droids you're looking for.' 🤖✨🚀"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Commentary:
"Dear Universe, I'd like a lifetime supply of pizza, a unicorn, and maybe just one day where my WiFi doesn’t decide to take a vacation 🤞🍕🦄📡"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Commentary:
"Guess I'm just one smart cookie crumbling under the pressure! 🍪😅 #DietGoals"