Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,078

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Just shared via TikTok:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Trending via Instagram:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Spotted on WeChat:

Just landed via Instagram:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Shared recently on WeChat:

This Monday could have been an email.

Making waves on Telegram:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Going viral on Twitch:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Home » Funny Leave Quotes » Page 6

128 Funny leave quotes

More funny leave quotes 👇

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

0

1 month ago

hack, house, leave, life, life hack, never, running, someone, talk, want, worry
Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

0

2 months ago

course, crush, delusion, going, humor, leave, love, reality, relationship, spouse, work
Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, extra, extra weight, humor, i, image, leave, love, me, motivation, relationship, self-deprecation, telling, thinking, too, weight
To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

0

2 months ago

beloved, circus, i, leave, wife
People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

0

2 months ago

activity, allowed, early, early leave, entertainment, fun, fun activity, leave, movie, people, personal, personal time, policy, should, time, time off, want, work, workplace, workplace policy
People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

0

2 months ago

homebody, homes, house, humor, introvert, leave, never, own, people, separately, unite, want
I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

0

2 months ago

alone, anxiety, cologne, fragrance, humor, introvert, leave, leave me alone, me, new, personal, personal space, social, social anxiety, space
My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

0

2 months ago

communication, favorite, humor, leave, person, silence, voicemail, where
You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

0

2 months ago

activity, camping, convenience, dirt, floor, home, humor, leave, let, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, shower, squirrels, stay
Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

0

2 months ago

Christmas, drinks, holiday, humor, joke, leave, me, milk, Santa, whiskey

For even more funny leave quotes, hit next 👇

All funny leave quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Threads this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

30 shares on X this month:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

24 shares on X this month:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Just landed via TikTok:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Going viral on Reddit:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Just landed via TikTok:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Just landed via Slack:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Live now on YouTube:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Spotted on WeChat:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Activity Log ✨

128 Funny leave quotes

More funny leave quotes 👇

All funny leave quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨