Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Commentary:
Looks like your doctor is speaking in code – with a side of humor! 🌮🍟 Who can resist the siren call of Taco Bell over the golden arches? You're on your way to a healthier diet, one crunchy taco at a time! 🌮🤣 #TacoTuesdayGoals
6 months ago
Share →: Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Commentary:
Ah, the classic parental food paradox – a culinary rollercoaster ride! 🎢🍽️ Is it a trap? A test? Who knows! Just remember, parental love comes in mysterious (and sometimes contradictory) packages. Enjoy the food journey, my friends! 😄🥘 #ParentalFoodWisdom
6 months ago
Share →: Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging gracefully! 👵🏼👴🏼 Less socializing, more scrutinizing! 🤣 Who needs a big circle of friends anyway when you can have a big list of grievances instead? 🤷🏻‍♂️😂 #LivingMyBestGrumpyLife"
6 months ago
Share →: The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging gracefully – losing body parts along the way 🤷‍♂️ Just remember to pick 'em up if you find 'em! 🦵🔜🙈"
6 months ago
Share →: Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Commentary:
"Reading is like the secret passage to a smarter you 📚💡! It's the legal high that transforms ignorance into knowledge! Say no to stupidity, say yes to books! 📖🚀 #BookWormWisdom"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Commentary:
"Rumor has it we only use 10% of our brain power, but let's face it, some folks out here living in that 5% range 🧠🤷‍♂️. Maybe they're saving the rest for a rainy day! ☔️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Commentary:
Ah, the beauty of precision in language! 🇩🇪 No more guessing games or passive-aggressive hints for German couples – they just cut straight to the point with a single word. 🥛💔 Next time you forget the milk, just wait for the inevitable "milchwiedervergessendesärger" to come your way! 😂 #LostInTranslation
6 months ago
Share →: When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Commentary:
"Well, at least they care enough to get it wrong, right? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe they can care a tad more about grammar next time! 😉 #GrammarMatters"
6 months ago
Share →: Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Commentary:
"Sorry, folks, if you're sliding into my DMs to snag a date, you might be aiming a bit too high! 🎯 Who am I to deprive you of lower standards? 🙈😂 #DeserveLessDesireBest"