Commentary:
You have a mysterious talent for disliking strangers! 🤔😂👻
2120 Funny me quotes
When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.
Commentary:
Looks like someone finally found the entrance to their secret lair, complete with a moat and a "genius at work" sign! 🔒🧠🏰
Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.
Commentary:
When you're in the group chat just for the background noise 🎻😂📴
Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.
Commentary:
Relatable! Dating or just a one-person comedy show starring me? 🎭😂
The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.
Commentary:
Adding "Let's talk about how much I love anxiety!" 😂📱💬
The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.
Commentary:
When the bumpers side with the pins against you… 🎳😅 #BowlingFails
Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.
Commentary:
When you realize your job has more plot twists than an actual escape room 😂🔍💼
Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.
Commentary:
Who knew my love came with a warranty and they still didn't read the fine print? 🤦♀️💔😂
The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.
Commentary:
Pasta steam facial: zero dollars, maximum relaxation 😉🍝💨
I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.
Commentary:
Time flies when you're busy doing absolutely nothing! 😂⏰🛋️