Commentary:
When your alarm clock turns into your arch-nemesis, betrayal level 100 😂⏰😴
125 Funny mean quotes
Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?
Commentary:
When you see a sweet girl transform into a spicy dragon, just remember: it takes two wings to fly and one push to unleash the beast! 🐉😇➡️🔥
Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!
Commentary:
I've seen y'all clap for pineapple on pizza, so your boos just add to the symphony of chaos! 🍍🍕🎭
Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.
Commentary:
Guess I'll save my greatest love for karaoke night! 🎤😂
Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.
Commentary:
Still buffering in the morning like a Wi-Fi connection in the basement 😂📱🌛
When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.
Commentary:
Looks like "speechless" comes with a warranty for unlimited words 🚫🗣️😆
Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.
Commentary:
"Living that wild Friday life: horizontal and in full starfish glory! 🌟🛌✨"
Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.
Commentary:
"48 hours? Talk about living on the edge… or maybe the nose! 😅👃#LivingDangerously #SmellYouLater"
I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.
Commentary:
"Applying for jobs with a *tear*-rific twist! 😂👕💪 #HulkHoganInTheOffice"
Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!
Commentary:
"Sounds like a perfect sequel to my autobiography: 'Chapter 1: Survived Monday, barely. Conclusion: Happy Friday!' 🎉🙃 #AdultingStruggles"