Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Commentary:
"Missing early morning meetings is an art form 🎨 Who needs alarms when you have natural talent like this? Maybe next time, try setting your alarm to snooze and repeat 5 times, just to keep things interesting 😉⏰ #ProfessionalSleeper"
6 months ago
Share →: Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Commentary:
"From standing out in a crowd to blending in at dull meetings – who knew adulting came with such plot twists? 🤷‍♂️ At least you can brag about your versatility, right?"
6 months ago
Share →: Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Commentary:
"Ah, the majestic meeting! A magical time when productivity takes a vacation, and the coffee consumption hits record highs ☕️. Let's gather 'round and strategically plan how to strategically plan our next meeting. Productivity? Who's she? 🤷‍♂️ #MeetingLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'strategic emotional outburst' tactic in the workplace – surefire way to clear your schedule! 🤪💦 Remember, if all else fails, unleash the waterworks and make your exit in dramatic fashion! 😂👏"
6 months ago
Share →: My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Commentary:
"Oh, the award-winning performance of nodding and smiling, truly captivating the audience of none 😉👏 Who needs an Oscar when you have mastered the art of pretending to listen in virtual meetings? 🎬🤣 #ZoomLife"
6 months ago
Share →: “Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the corporate dance of 'circling back' and 'taking another lap' – like a never-ending tango with emails 🔄💃🕺. Who knew office communication could be so rhythmic and repetitive? 😄 #CorporateQuirks"
6 months ago
Share →: I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Commentary:
Oh, the famous "Oops, my Wi-Fi is acting up again" move! 📶😏 Adding this button would be a game-changer for all those who need a quick escape from a meeting! Just imagine the collective sigh of relief from introverts worldwide. ✨ #ZoomMagic
6 months ago
Share →: Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Commentary:
It sounds like those early bird gangs are really ruffling some feathers in the neighborhood! 🐦💥 Maybe they're just trying to start their day with a little tweet-ment before the sun rises. Just make sure they don't start charging for ringside seats! 🕊️🥊🌅
6 months ago
Share →: Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Commentary:
Looks like wishing for the day your colleagues actually deserve might not always be appreciated! 🤣 Maybe a simple "Have a great day" could save you from making enemies at work. Lesson learned! 😉 #OfficeHumor
6 months ago
Share →: Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the classic meeting merry-go-round! 🔄🤔 It's like a never-ending cycle of let's-discuss-what-we're-going-to-discuss-next-time 😂 Maybe we should schedule a meeting to strategize how to end meetings efficiently! 🤷‍♂️ #MeetingMadness