70 funny modern quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

May 26, 2026

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

May 26, 2026

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

May 26, 2026

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

May 25, 2026

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

May 24, 2026

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

May 24, 2026

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

May 24, 2026

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

May 24, 2026

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

May 24, 2026

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

May 24, 2026

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

May 24, 2026

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

May 24, 2026

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

May 24, 2026

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

May 24, 2026

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

May 23, 2026

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

May 23, 2026

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

May 23, 2026

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

May 23, 2026

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

May 23, 2026

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

May 22, 2026

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

May 22, 2026

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

May 22, 2026

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

May 21, 2026

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

May 21, 2026

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

May 21, 2026

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

May 21, 2026

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

May 19, 2026

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

May 19, 2026

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

May 19, 2026

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

May 19, 2026