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33 Funny new year quotes

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  • When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

    Commentary:
    “Well, well, well, would you look at that! 🤷‍♂️ Seems like ‘circling back’ turned into a full-blown marathon! 🔄🎉 Time really does have a knack for flying faster than our promised follow-ups! ⏰😅 #DelayedResolutions”

  • My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and the siren call of Netflix 😆🎉 Here’s to a year of well-intentioned procrastination and perfectly timed productivity! Just remember, tomorrow is always a day away… #NewYearsResolution #ProcrastinationStation”

  • Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone’s setting the bar too high for themselves in 2022! 🤣 Time to embrace that natural charisma and just roll with it. Who needs resolutions when you’re naturally a jaw-dropper, right? 😉

  • My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

    Commentary:
    “Ah yes, the perfect balance of productivity and procrastination 🎉😅 Here’s to a year of hopeful intentions and inevitable distractions! #NewYearSameMe”

  • Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

    Commentary:
    “Here’s to hoping reality finally gets a headache from all that crushing and dreams develop a secret plot to fulfill themselves! 🤞🏼😂 #BringItOn2023”

  • My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone finally listened to TLC and decided to stick to the rivers and lakes they’re used to in 2022! 🌊 No more chasing waterfalls for you, huh? Let’s hope this resolution doesn’t go chasing pavements instead! 🎶 #NewYearNewMe”

  • If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

    Commentary:
    “New Year’s resolution: be more proactive in friendships or just blame it on laziness like a pro. 😅💤 #FriendshipGoals #LazyButLoyal”

  • Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

    Commentary:
    “Excited to dive headfirst into a fresh year of questionable decisions like a boss! 🎉🤪 Who needs a coherent life plan when you have spontaneity as your sidekick? Let’s make 2022 a year to remember (or forget)! 🤣🎆”

  • Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like humanity is auditioning for a ‘New Year, New Me’ makeover but may need a reality check first! 🌎😅 Here’s hoping they at least bring their recycling game up a notch in the next chapter!”

  • I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the ‘I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve’ level of old… You know you’re getting up there when your idea of a wild night is falling asleep before midnight! 🎉👴😂”

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