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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Just shared via Reddit:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Trending via TikTok:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Making waves on WeChat:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Breaking via Reddit:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

19 Funny relax quotes

Funny relax quotes are the perfect way to unwind and giggle at the same time 😄🛋️. When life gets hectic, a little humor can melt stress away like magic ✨🔥. Whether you’re chilling with a cup of coffee ☕ or kicking back after a long day, these witty words will have you LOL-ing while you lounge. Ready to relax and laugh? Let the good vibes roll! 🎉😎

New funny relax quotes 👇

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

0

3 weeks ago

before, bloopers, credits, end, end credits, film, films, horror, horror film, movie, relax, should, sleep, sleeping, viewer
Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

0

2 months ago

anxiety, brain, brains, humor, panic, relax, something, stress, Sunday, want, weekend, weird
Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

0

2 months ago

after, days, entertainment, home, humor, leisure, love, relax, short-form, short-form video, video, videos, work
The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

0

2 months ago

chores, clean, clean house, cleaning, conflict, house, laziness, motivation, move, procrastination, relax, struggle, Sunday, wanting
The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

0

2 months ago

act, rebellion, relax, relaxation, unconditional
People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

0

2 months ago

asleep, fall, freak, humor, i, me, mean, people, quick, relax, sleep, thoughts
I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

0

2 months ago

chair, home, humor, i, love, me, multitask, need, phone, relax, room, sit, thrive, waiting, waiting room
I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

0

2 months ago

comfort, couch, give, humor, i, just, lazy, love, relax, self-care
I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

0

2 months ago

chilling, documentary, entertainment, humor, irony, just, killer, news, put, relax, relief, serial, serial killer, stress, stress relief, turned
Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

0

2 months ago

always, chefs, cooking, cut, everything, fast, humor, just, kitchen, man, onion, relax, speed

For even more funny relax quotes, hit next 👇

All funny relax quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Reddit this month:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

How is it still this week?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,608

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Freshly posted on X:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Just shared via Twitch:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Just shared via X:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Making waves on X:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

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