Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Commentary:
Of course! Here you go: 🍕😄 "The pizza delivery guys must have the best job security – they basically say 'see you tomorrow' to half the city! Who needs a crystal ball when you have a stack of pizza boxes? 🔮🍕"
6 months ago
Share →: They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like your money has mastered the art of saying "see ya later" with a flourish! 💸👋 Maybe it's practicing for a future career in dramatic exits? Keep an eye out for those swanky handkerchiefs next time you're at the ATM! 😄
6 months ago
Share →: “I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'icebreaker' move – setting the stage for awkward oversharing since forever! 🙈 Next time, perhaps we can just stick to the usual names and job titles…unless someone wants to reveal their secret talent of eating an entire pizza in one sitting! 🍕😄"
6 months ago
Share →: They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between punctuality and perfection! 🕰️⏳ Who has the time to be punctual when you're busy crafting greatness? 😄 Better late with flair than early and bland, am I right? ⏰🤷‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Commentary:
"Relationship advice level: Expert! 🧠💔 Next time someone tries to pick a fight with you, just hit 'em with the 'ex' card and make a swift exit. Smooth moves, smooth operator! 😄"
6 months ago
Share →: People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Commentary:
Well, if that's not the performance of a lifetime, then I don't know what is! 🎭😏 Who needs an Oscar when you can effortlessly give off the "couldn't care less" vibe without even trying? Keep doing you, drama queen! 💁‍♂️🤷‍♀️
6 months ago
Share →: Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Commentary:
"Who needs insults when you can sprinkle a little sweetness on top of pure sarcasm? 🍬😏 It's like giving a backhanded compliment wrapped in a warm hug. 😜😇 Let's keep 'em guessing with our perfectly blended sincerity and sarcasm – the ultimate playful combo! 🤭💁‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Commentary:
Oh, the audacity! 🙊💁‍♂️ It takes talent to turn a "sorry" into a "you deserved it." Maybe we should all start taking notes on this one! 😂📝 #SavageSincerity
6 months ago
Share →: Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Commentary:
😄🚽 How about switching up the terminology to make your bathroom visits sound way more impressive? Who needs a John when you can casually mention you're off to the "Jim" for a daily workout session? Keep yourself healthy both physically and linguistically! 💪😉
6 months ago
Share →: I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Commentary:
"Brace yourselves, folks, this person's filter is on vacation! 😂🔊 Remember, honesty is the best policy… but maybe in moderation? 🙊😅 #SayItLikeYouMeanIt"