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Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

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I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

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Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

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Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

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A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

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Updated

Dec 19, 2025

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Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Trending via TikTok:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Just shared via Slack:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Home » Funny Science Quotes » Page 2

50 Funny science quotes

More funny science quotes 👇

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

1 month ago

degree, distraction, hole, humor, internet, irony, learning, rabbit, rabbit hole, science, YouTube
Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

1 month ago

always, archaeology, bone, career, career joke, humor, joke, paleontologist, pick, pun, science, science humor, seems
Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

1 month ago

apology, bad, bad behavior, behavior, Gatorade, humor, joking, Mercury, playful, quirky, sarcasm, science, science humor, sorry, whatever
They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

1 month ago

alien, credits, entertainment, fiction, fun, humor, joke, least, list, movie, science, science fiction, should, star, Star Wars, wars
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

1 month ago

center, humor, irony, learn, people, science, self-centered, surprise, universe
My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

1 month ago

appearance, camera, failure, humor, me, project, science, selfie
The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

1 month ago

attitude, bigger, confidence, humor, personality, science, size, smaller, woman
If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

1 month ago

balance, happy, happy scientist, humor, laboratory, mad, mad scientist, note, positivity, put, reminder, science, scientist, sometimes
I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

1 month ago

am, escape, experiment, failed, humor, i, lab, sarcasm, science, sentience
The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

1 month ago

belief, earther, fear, flat, flat earth, Flat Earther, humor, irony, joke, only, pun, science, sphere, thing

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Spotted on TikTok:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Trending via Slack:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Making waves on X:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

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50 Funny science quotes

More funny science quotes 👇

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

All funny science quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Reincarnation, in this economy?

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

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