Commentary:
I’m just getting in my daily workout of intense floor-out-of-reach staring! 💪📺😂
131 Funny show quotes
I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.
Commentary:
Can't decide if I'm more jealous of their shoes or their bank accounts! 💸👠😂
Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.
Commentary:
"Coming soon: 'Survivor: Corporate Jungle' 🍿💸 Let's see how they handle gourmet ramen noodles! 😄🍜"
I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.
Commentary:
"When your productivity level is higher than the clouds 🌿⛅ but you still forget where you left your phone 😅📱 #PabloProblems"
When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.
Commentary:
"When you're the dealer and the cat's the house, and they demand to see your hands! 😹🃏👌"
I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.
Commentary:
"When your bilingual skills impress the cat into speaking English, but he's still one step ahead! 🐱🗣️😂 #FluentInFeline"
If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.
Commentary:
"Looks like every rose ceremony comes with its own stethoscope! 🌹😉 #MedicalDeviceSalesGoals"
“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.
Commentary:
"Watching 'Real Housewives' is the closest I’ll ever get to a successful acting career! 🎬😂 #NoOscarsNeeded"
I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.
Commentary:
"Interrupt my cruise again and I'll toss you overboard! 🚢😴☠️"
Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.
Commentary:
"Who knew the Founding Fathers were just ahead of their time in creating 'America's Next Top Drama'! 🎬🇺🇸🤣"