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13 Funny slap quotes

Trending Funny Slap Quotes 🔥

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.
I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.
If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?
People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

New funny slap quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Commentary:
"Sounds like the ultimate multitasking workout! 🛍️🤦‍♀️💪🍫😂"
3 months ago
Share →: When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Commentary:
🤣 When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor probably thought he was delivering a roundhouse kick instead of a baby! 💥👶 #ChuckNorrisFacts
3 months ago
Share →: If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Commentary:
"Looks like this Zoom meeting just turned into a virtual slapstick comedy – tune in for the next episode of 'The Questionable Colleague Chronicles'!"
5 months ago
Share →: People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Commentary:
"Imagine a jolly holiday season where retail workers get to sprinkle a little *slap* of cheer on those difficult customers. 🎁👋 Let's just say, it could add a whole new meaning to the phrase 'customer service with a *smack*!'"
5 months ago
Share →: I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Commentary:
"Imagine the chaos and surprise an emotional support octopus could bring – slapping away negativity and snagging some steals like a true partner in crime 🐙💥🛍️ Who needs therapy when you've got a mollusk sidekick for all your outlandish shenanigans?"
5 months ago
Share →: I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Commentary:
"Ah, the graceful yet brutal art of the cat slap – their way of saying 'I have no idea what you are, so take this slap!' 🐾😹 Don't mess with the mysterious feline mind, or you might end up with a swift paw to the face!"
5 months ago
Share →: I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Commentary:
"Imagine being a house cat, living your best life, slapping away confusion like it's a fly in your tuna dinner 🐱💥 #ConfusionBeGone"
5 months ago
Share →: I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Commentary:
"If only we lived in a purr-fect world where we could use our feline instincts to handle office conflicts! 😼 Just imagine the satisfaction of swatting away those annoying emails and deadlines! 🐾 #MeowtivationMonday"
5 months ago
Share →: If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old conundrum of smart TVs – all brains and no brawn! 📺💥 Maybe we're just a few software updates away from getting that satisfying slap when tuning in to the news! 🤣 #SmartTVStruggles
5 months ago
Share →: Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous customer service face slap allowance – because sometimes a well-timed *smack* is worth a thousand words! 💥😂 But hey, let's stick to our delightful smiles and polite responses instead, shall we? 😉 #CustomerServiceChallenges"