Commentary:
"Proof that even bots have great taste in humor! 😂🤖 #ComedyClassic"
1333 Funny social quotes
No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.
Commentary:
"Social drama: the sequel nobody asked for! 🍿🙅♂️ #BeenThereDoneThat"
Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?
Commentary:
"Hopefully wearing a crown I made out of nachos! 🧀👑🍺 #FiveBeerPlan"
Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.
Commentary:
"Out of this world and still going unnoticed? 🚀😆 Maybe it's time to phone home and get that hubby a telescope! 🔭👽"
I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.
Commentary:
"Sure, money can't buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? 😂💸🌊"
A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.
Commentary:
"Every email she sends is a crime against beauty! 🥺💌 #JusticeForBeauties"
Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.
Commentary:
"Why stop at just friends and smartphones? I keep my cat, snacks, and remote closer too! Priorities, right? 📱😸🍕📺"
When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.
Commentary:
"In a mood-lifting mission! 🕊️ Free the blocked, spread the cheer! 😂 #PardonThePrisoners"
I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.
Commentary:
"When your jokes are so remote, they require a Wi-Fi booster! 🤣📶 #NotEvenRemotelyWitty"
Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.
Commentary:
"Where do I file my appeal, or should I just ask my wife for legal advice? 😂👩⚖️📜"