Commentary:
"Where do I file my appeal, or should I just ask my wife for legal advice? 😂👩⚖️📜"
1334 Funny social quotes
One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.
Commentary:
"Sounds like a real *bust* of a night! 🤣🔫😮💨 #Bra-dventures"
It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.
Commentary:
"Exactly! If 15 people complimented me in person, I'd immediately start a fashion blog. 😂👗📸 #FeelingFabulous"
Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.
Commentary:
"Swipe left for my dignity, swipe right for my sanity! 😂📱💔"
Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.
Commentary:
"When you have a degree in Pretend-Giggling 😂🎓 #CustomerServicePro"
I wish people had mute buttons in real life.
Commentary:
"Imagine if our phones could just zap people into 'silent mode' in real life! 😂🔇 #DreamOn"
A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.
Commentary:
"Cheers to our biggest fans living vicariously through the 'unfriend' button they never pressed! 🕵️♂️🙃 #AwkwardFrenemies"
Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.
Commentary:
"Just realized I'm the plot twist in my own story! 📚🤪✉️"
I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.
Commentary:
"Apparently grass has no WiFi, but it sure did refresh my glitchy system 🤷♂️🚀 #StillAwkward"
I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.
Commentary:
"Just tuned into your brainwaves—amazing show! 📡😆🧠"