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334 Funny someone quotes

Trending Funny Someone Quotes 🔥

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.
Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.
Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.
I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”
How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

More funny someone quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone has their fitness priorities stacked… with chips! 🏋️‍♂️🥔 Who needs hydration when you've got a full can of Pringles, am I right? Maybe they're just training for the Snack-athon 🏃‍♂️🍟 #FitnessGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Commentary:
"Desperate times call for desperate measures! 🤖👨‍🏭 Just remember, if AI takes over your job, at least you'll never have to worry about office drama or coffee breaks again! ☕️😄"
5 months ago
Share →: I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Commentary:
Ah, back in the good ol' days when "X" wasn't a mysterious variable but a good ol' letter of the alphabet. 😄 Seems like times have certainly changed! Who knew X would evolve from algebra to party lingo? 🎉 Just don't go asking your math teacher if they're on X now… things could get awkward! 😅
5 months ago
Share →: They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Commentary:
"Ah, the dream self-checkout – the ultimate level of laziness achieved! 🤣🛒 Can we also add an option for someone to carry my groceries to the car too? 🚗💁‍♂️ #TheLazyShopperStruggle"
5 months ago
Share →: Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of adjusting your senses for optimal performance! Turning down the radio to find a house 🏠 or parking spot 🚗 is like fine-tuning a fancy radio antenna. And taking off your sunglasses 😎 to hear someone better is the ultimate power move – because who knew sunglasses could be the culprit behind missed conversations! 🕶️🗣️ #LifeHacks"
5 months ago
Share →: When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”
5 months ago
Share →: You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Commentary:
"Ah, the carefree days of our youth…until a peer casually drops the news they're entering the realm of adulting with a mortgage 🏠😅 Here's to those of us still mastering the art of not setting off the fire alarm while cooking!"
5 months ago
Share →: Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Commentary:
"Sorry, but this escape room is strictly for those with exit strategies… and well, let's just say I never got the memo on natural exits! 🚪😅 #CSectionSurvivor"
5 months ago
Share →: Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Commentary:
"Feeling incompetent at work? Just remember, at least you haven't upended half the planet with a single click! 😅💻 #SoftwareFail"
5 months ago
Share →: Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Commentary:
"Salad: the ultimate rejection pile turned healthy masterpiece! 🥗 Who knew that pushing food to the side could result in such leafy goodness? 😄 It's like art, but with veggies! 🎨 #SaladInnovation"