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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Just landed via Snapchat:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Spotted on Discord:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Trending via Slack:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Just landed via TikTok:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Home » Funny Task Quotes

27 Funny task quotes

Funny task quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your to-do list 📝😂 Whether you’re procrastinating or powering through, these witty gems turn chores into chuckles 🤪✨ Get ready to laugh off the grind and find joy in everyday tasks—because who says productivity can’t be fun? 🎉💼 Let’s make work a little less worky and a lot more quirky! 😎🔥

New funny task quotes 👇

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

0

3 weeks ago

anyone, effort, else, hard, humor, motivation, noticed, observation, procrastination, reluctance, task, things, want
Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

0

3 weeks ago

diary, everything, fix, frustration, humor, i, lock, lock in, responsibility, task, tomorrow
He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

0

4 weeks ago

asking, Christmas, Christmas light, decoration, feet, holiday, holiday preparation, light, lights, preparation, realize, relationship, Saturday, surprise, task, untangling
I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

0

1 month ago

brain, closing, complete, done, humor, i, load, mental, mental load, pleasure, relationship, tabs, task, wife, worry
I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

0

1 month ago

bedroom, domestic, domestic task, fitted, fitted sheet, help, honesty, humor, i, lie, mattress, me, put, relationship, sex, sheet, task
You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

0

2 months ago

chore, daily, daily life, die, endless, endless task, household, humor, laundry, life, once, task, week
“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

0

2 months ago

busy, humor, items, list, new, procrastination, task, to-do, to-do list, workload
I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

0

2 months ago

backwards, chore, dishwasher, feel, feeling, humor, i, just, mundane, mundane task, reverse, sarcasm, something, task
Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

0

2 months ago

chores, clean, cook, daily, daily task, decision, decision making, grocery, humor, humor quote, i, laziness, making, okay, procrastination, reading, shopping, task
Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

0

2 months ago

boredom, first job, humor, job, lack, lack of task, normal, nothing, office, office work, task, work, working, workplace, workplace humor

For even more funny task quotes, hit next 👇

All funny task quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

60 shares on Slack this month:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

83 shares on Discord this month:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

43 shares on Threads this month:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

52 shares on X this month:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,717

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Trending via X:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Going viral on Slack:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Making waves on Discord:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Making waves on Messenger:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Going viral on TikTok:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Trending via Slack:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

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