160 Funny things quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle between waistline and brain cells. If only we could misplace our cravings instead of our keys – we'd all be so much smarter, and much hungrier!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the frittata, the rebellious cousin of the omelette, breaking free from traditional kitchen rules and declaring, 'I won't be flipped!' It's the perfect solution for those lazy chefs who prefer their eggs unstressed and unflipped."

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic introvert strategy – let the extroverts do all the heavy lifting in the friendship department! Who needs to make friends when you can just get adopted by extroverts and let them do all the work? It's like having your own personal social manager, only with more spontaneous dance parties and karaoke nights. Just remember to thank your extrovert friends for keeping your social calendar full – whether you like it or not!

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

  Commentary:
  "Boys may be like a box of chocolates – sometimes sweet, sometimes nutty, but always a little messy! Just remember, it's all part of the charm… or so they say!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic bedtime routine of checking the news and losing all hope before hitting the hay. 🌍😴 Keep calm and carry on…if you can manage to sleep after scrolling through the chaos! 💤😅

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  4 months ago

  Share →: 90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew worrying had such a high success rate? 🤔 Maybe I should worry more about winning the lottery! 💸😅 Watch out, universe, here comes my worry game strong! 🌟 #WorryChampion"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

  Commentary:
  🏆🎬 "I could easily win an Oscar, I just have to schedule it in between my naps and snack breaks! 🍿💤 Who knew being fabulous could be so exhausting?"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

  Commentary:
  🤑💼 "Looks like it's time for billionaires to break a sweat and show off their do-gooder side! Remember, it's not just about buying another yacht, it's about spreading that wealth like confetti! Let's see those philanthropic muscles flex, folks! Otherwise, it might be time to say 'buh-bye' to those stacks of cash! 💸🌟"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least you're consistent in your preferences – can't say the same for your moral compass or diet plan!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the tragic tale of the cookie and the milk – a timeless drama of love and loss. Just when you thought you were enjoying a sweet moment, life crumbles before your eyes. Remember, in the world of cookies and milk, it's always a balancing act between pleasure and peril. Stay strong, dear dunkers, stay strong."

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