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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

19 Funny tip quotes

More funny tip quotes 👇

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

3 weeks ago

company, every, finance, food, humor, invest, pasta, penne, pro, pro-tip, tip, worth
Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

3 weeks ago

activity, advice, angel, dog, dog park, fun, funny advice, humor, never, outdoor, outdoor activity, park, pet, pet humor, pro, pro-tip, snow, snow angel, tip, winter, winter fun
Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

3 weeks ago

advice, everyone, gain, humor, lying, manipulation, people, politics, satire, tip, top, trust
A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

3 weeks ago

advice, boss, communication, everyone, humor, i, negotiation, next, pay, pay rise, rise, salary, tell, tip, workplace
Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

3 weeks ago

diet, humor, lifestyle, never, pants, tight, tip, too, wear
Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

3 weeks ago

anything, data, data sale, data tracking, email, email spam, internet, internet security, know, middle, middle name, name, online, online signup, privacy, pro, pro-tip, put, sale, security, sign, signup, sold, spam, tip, tracking, website, website name, websites
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

3 weeks ago

doorbell, hiding, home, introvert, moment, not home, pretending, rings, sneak, tip, tip toe, toe, visitor, window
Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

3 weeks ago

advice, coping, coping mechanism, humor, life, life tip, mechanism, nothing, right, sleep, tip
Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

3 weeks ago

advice, avoid, break, couple, days, fun, news, pro, pro-tip, relaxation, tip

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All funny tip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

91 shares on Threads this month:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

47 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone is getting idioter.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Going viral on Twitch:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Trending via WhatsApp:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Spotted on Instagram:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Making waves on Messenger:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Activity Log ✨

19 Funny tip quotes

More funny tip quotes 👇

All funny tip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨