Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Just landed via Messenger:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Making waves on Reddit:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Going viral on Messenger:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Going viral on Telegram:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Going viral on Slack:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Making waves on Instagram:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

87 Funny wanted quotes

More funny wanted quotes 👇

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

1 month ago

every, existential, goals, humor, i, identity, just, life, life goals, middle-aged, nostalgia, person, remember, want, wanted
You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

1 month ago

anxiety, door, humor, i, introvert, knock, murder, reaction, someone, surprise, think, wanted
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

1 month ago

always, aspiration, childhood, growing, growing up, humor, i, lesson, life, life lesson, realization, someone, specific, wanted
As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

1 month ago

alarm, always, concern, Earth, environmental, environmental concern, fantasy, humor, intrigue, level, mermaid, ocean, sea, sea level, someone, wanted
I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

1 month ago

camping, discomfort, humor, i, mortgage, nature, outside, pay, preferences, sleep, wanted
Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

1 month ago

desire, dream, dreams, eating, follow, food, humor, i, motivation, taco, wanted, yesterday
I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

1 month ago

age, diet, eat, eating, food, fork, gain, gaining, humor, i, pounds, struggle, used, wanted, weight
“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

1 month ago

attitude, humor, i, job, laziness, motivation, never, nobody, wanted, wants, work
Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

1 month ago

attention, childhood, communication, ever, humor, i, little, me, people, speak, speech, wanted, watch
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

1 month ago

access, app, authentication, Authenticator, download, ever, every, girl, i, job, little, microsoft, Microsoft Authenticator, necessary, never, personal, phone, platform, professional, professional platform, security, wanted, work

For even more funny wanted quotes, hit next 👇

All funny wanted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

87 shares on Discord this month:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Seen just now on Discord:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Going viral on Messenger:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Going viral on Telegram:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Freshly posted on X:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Activity Log ✨

87 Funny wanted quotes

More funny wanted quotes 👇

All funny wanted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨