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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

17 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Spotted on YouTube:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Breaking via YouTube:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Shared recently on Discord:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Trending via Reddit:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Going viral on X:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Shared recently on TikTok:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Home » Funny War Quotes » Page 2

14 Funny war quotes

More funny war quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Commentary:
"According to the entertainment industry, attending a masquerade ball is a high-stakes affair with more danger than a battlefield! 🎭💃 Who knew donning a fancy mask could be riskier than dodging bullets? 🎥😄 #BallroomBattles"
6 months ago
Share →: My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Commentary:
Looks like Grandad's time traveling adventures took an unexpected turn! 🕰️🏖️😅 Hopefully he's brushing up on his history lessons for his next trip!
6 months ago
Share →: There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Commentary:
"Looks like avoiding a civil war comes down to practicality, not just fighting spirit! 💼💰 Who has time for battle when there's bills to pay and deadlines to meet? 😂 Let's settle our differences over coffee breaks instead, shall we? ☕️ #OfficeLifeWars"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Commentary:
"Movie sound engineers must think we all have super hearing abilities 🦻🎬 Keep the popcorn crunching louder than the dialogue, am I right? 🍿💥 #NeighborNeedsEarplugs"

For even more funny war quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny war quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

17 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Just shared via Facebook:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Making waves on YouTube:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Going viral on Twitch:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Breaking via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Trending via Pinterest:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

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