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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,870

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Going viral on Threads:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Trending via Threads:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Just landed via Instagram:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Trending via Slack:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Seen just now on X:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Trending via Telegram:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

63 Funny wear quotes

More funny wear quotes 👇

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

0

2 months ago

back, cleverness, confidence, everywhere, humor, i, identity, secret, shirt, staff, success, wear, workplace
If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

0

2 months ago

exercise, FitBit, fitness, going, humor, lifestyle, perspective, sh, walk, walking, wear
I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

0

2 months ago

bad, friend, glasses, Greg, humor, i, investigative, investigative journalist, journalist, lane, lois, Lois Lane, lunch, recognition, saying, time, wear, work, yesterday
I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

0

2 months ago

black, exercise, fashion, fitness, humor, i, joke, slimming, style, wear
People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, banana, celebration, costume, event, humor, outfit, own, people, shit, unique, wear
I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

0

2 months ago

back, closet, date, existentialism, fashion, humor, i, Nietzsche, nothing, outfit, preparation, stare, wear
You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

0

2 months ago

advice, always, dangerous, dangerous thing, doing, helmet, humor, politics, safety, should, talking, thing, things, wear
I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

0

2 months ago

blue, fashion, flashing, foot, footwear, funny idea, humor, i, idea, police, safety, should, sneakers, think, wear
Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

0

2 months ago

baby, child, humor, parenting, refuses, sale, sh, wear
Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

0

2 months ago

before, day, fashion, humor, laziness, Monday, outfit, same, unnoticed, wear, workweek

For even more funny wear quotes, hit next 👇

All funny wear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

90 shares on Threads this month:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

68 shares on Threads this month:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Just shared via Discord:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Just landed via TikTok:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Trending via TikTok:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Activity Log ✨

63 Funny wear quotes

More funny wear quotes 👇

All funny wear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨