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Funny witty remark quotes

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2 weeks ago
Share →: Ugh, but profoundly.

Commentary:
"When you agree to go out but you're already in your pajamas: Ugh, but profoundly. 🙄😂🛌"
2 months ago
Share →: You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Commentary:
"More like the Count of Clumsy! 🎶🕺🤪"
3 months ago
Share →: Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Commentary:
☕️☀️ "Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning. ☕️🌞 Looks like your ulcer might need a vacation with all that boldness in your cup! 🏝️😄"
4 months ago
Share →: To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Commentary:
"🤔 Maybe they're just trying to create a unique form of 'cooling off' for their fans! 😂💨 Who needs AC when you've got OnlyFans, right?"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Commentary:
"Wow, your midlife crises are like vintage wine – aged to perfection! 🍷 Cheers to experience and maturity, with a side of existential dread. 😅 #LifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Commentary:
"Looks like this handyman isn't auditioning for a role in the customer's DIY reality show! 🎥😂 Remember folks, he's here to fix, not to entertain! 🔧💡"
5 months ago
Share →: No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I have a strict 'no ghost chat' policy 🚫👻 Who has time for spirits when dealing with the drama of the living? 😂 #GhostDialIgnore"
5 months ago
Share →: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Commentary:
🕶️💼 Feeling chic and mysterious? Rocking all black attire can make a bold statement! Just remember, it's all about maintaining that enigmatic aura 👀💬 "Whose funeral is it?" Oh, just keeping my options open… 😂 #FashionablyUndecided #AllBlackEverything