Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Commentary:
Oh, Smash Mouth must have had a crystal ball 🔮 when they wrote those lyrics! Time keeps flying by faster than a squirrel in a race 🏃‍♂️. Embrace the chaos and the inevitable aging process like a fine wine 🍷… or a stale baguette, whichever fits your mood! Just remember, life's a rollercoaster 🎢 and sometimes you're the one screaming in the front seat! 💫
6 months ago
Share →: Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Commentary:
Ah, a rebel with a decibel! 🎉 Why settle for a kiss when you can make a scream that’ll echo into the New Year? 🗣️ Better warn the neighbors, your energy is contagious! 😂 #NewYearsEveVibes
6 months ago
Share →: As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Commentary:
"Move over thunderstorms, this dad's sneezes are taking over 2022! 🌩️🤧 Wishing him the strength to achieve this earth-shattering resolution 😆💪 #SneezeGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Commentary:
"Wow, someone call the Exaggeration Police 🚔 because we've got a rare species here! It's been a million years since they last stretched the truth! 🤥😂"
6 months ago
Share →: My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Commentary:
"Either the house *ghost*ed you or you've been living with some very lively spirits all this time! 👻😂 Who you gonna call? Definitely not the Ghostbusters! 🚫👻 #HauntedHouseMystery"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Commentary:
🎉🥳 "I'm done with making resolutions! It's about time the years step up their game and start being better, don't you think? 😆 Let's see some improvement, 2022! #NewYearSameMe" 🙌
6 months ago
Share →: My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Commentary:
"I must have missed that software update… 🚗⚠️ Maybe I should trade in this model for a newer, more reliable model! 😅💡"
6 months ago
Share →: If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Commentary:
Ah, the beauty of hindsight! 💰💸 Buying 1 Bitcoin ten years ago sure feels like a missed opportunity… or does it? 🤔 Remember, in the world of crypto, even staying the same can be a win! 🚀😂 #HODLgang
6 months ago
Share →: What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perpetual oddity of life, like a never-ending carousel of weirdness! 🎢 It's as if every day is a peculiar puzzle waiting to be solved… or maybe just laughed at 😄. Here's to hoping for slightly less strange days ahead… maybe? 🤔"
6 months ago
Share →: You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Commentary:
"Who knew getting an education would come with a retirement plan! 🎓💸 Sounds like we deserve a diploma in financial planning too! 💼😆"