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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,654

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Trending via Discord:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Going bananas on Slack:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Trending via Slack:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like I'm living the dream… if that dream was a comedy show! 👗💸😅

adulthood, broke, clothes, crisis, fit, grown up, humor, i, identity, identity crisis, over-thinker, overthinker, pretty, remember, self-deprecation, stressed-out, sure, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

0

2 months ago

affection, awkward, awkward situation, bathroom, humor, i, love, matter, relationship, shower, situation, surprise, trying
I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

0

1 month ago

aggression, anger, annoyance, day, discomfort, hope, humor, i, just, mad, passive, passive aggression, shoe, slide, sock, socks
Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

0

2 months ago

communication, contact, humor, irony, media, misunderstanding, person, social, social media, understand, welcome
Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

0

2 months ago

energy, humor, i, me, motivation, nobody, stop, time, tired
When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

0

2 months ago

attraction, dating, desire, dress, fashion, humor, nice, taking, taking off, think, thrill
Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

0

2 months ago

addicted, addiction, bad, bad posture, body, body position, comfortable, humor, position, posture, shrimp, sit, sitting, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

93 shares on Slack this month:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Going viral on Telegram:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Seen just now on Twitch:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Making waves on Instagram:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Spotted on WeChat:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨