Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,673

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Breaking via WeChat:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a typical day of Olympics-level adulting! 😅🥇💤

anger, annoyance, breathing, daily, daily routine, frustration, got, hate, humor, i, know, list, lot, mad, me, routine, sarcasm, sigh, someone, something, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, contact, humor, i, me, money, reach
Listen to the birds, not the news.

0

2 months ago

birds, distraction, humor, listen, mindfulness, nature, news, relaxation
I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

0

2 months ago

awareness, health, humor, i, know, mad, madness, mental, mental health, myself, self, self-awareness, self-talk, start, talk, talking, talking to myself
The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

0

4 months ago

back, confidence, empowerment, flex, humor, independence, real, relationship, run, woman
User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

0

2 months ago

computer, humor, idiot, mean, professional, sarcasm, technology, user, word
I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

0

2 months ago

appearance, casual, confidence, day, humor, impressed, just, public, self-image, ugly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

54 shares on Discord this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

14 shares on Reddit this month:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Going viral on Messenger:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Spotted on Threads:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Trending via YouTube:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Freshly posted on X:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Listen to the birds, not the news.

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨