Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,889

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Making waves on Instagram:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Making waves on YouTube:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Live now on Discord:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Going viral on Slack:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Going bananas on X:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Going viral on Messenger:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Just landed via Slack:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a financial plan I can stick to: invest heavily in catnip and cuddles! 🐱💰😸

20s, adulthood, cat, humor, important, money, much, pet, spend, spending

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

0

4 months ago

algebra, family, family life, humor, kid, kids, life, marriage, married, parenting, practice, relaxation, relaxing, weeknight
Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

0

1 month ago

am, better, better person, choice, cool, fashion, going, humor, i, jacket, making, materialism, myself, new, person, personal, personal choice, priorities, purchase, self-improvement, working
Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

0

1 month ago

breakup, divorce, free, humor, joke, level, library, little, putting, relationship, scrapbook, unprecedented, wedding
There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

0

2 months ago

cheese, culture, food, humor, photo, photography, reason, salad, smile
She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

0

1 month ago

appointment, appointments, arm, doctor, fat, hate, humor, i, me, money, stab
“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

0

2 months ago

another, back, circling, circling back, communication, humor, just, lap, meetings, take, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Messenger this month:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

42 shares on X this month:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone is getting idioter.

66 shares on Slack this month:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Making waves on YouTube:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Making waves on Slack:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Just shared via YouTube:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Seen just now on Slack:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨