Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.