Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Trending via Threads:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Breaking via WeChat:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Seen just now on Discord:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Live now on Pinterest:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Trending via Reddit:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Making waves on YouTube:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Going viral on TikTok:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to make a divine wish list! 🎁😇💘

birthday, boyfriend, gift, gift idea, God, humor, idea, love, maybe, me, relationship, single, wish, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

0

1 month ago

AI, AI evolution, apocalypse, Cloudflare, ever, evolution, fail, humor, imagine, internet, internet outage, joke, kill, outage, survival, tech, tech fail, technology, thing, trying, us
Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

0

2 months ago

bible, Bible lesson, Bible name, giving, humor, kid, kids, last, lesson, lessons, me, Moses, name, names, night, robbery, stop, tried
Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

0

2 months ago

childhood, everything, grow, grow up, humor, innocence, kids, memory, nostalgia, remember, stupid, stupidity
Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

0

2 months ago

cost, expensive, give, going, humor, irony, just, me, plane, plane ticket, ride, ticket, transportation, travel
Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

0

2 months ago

addiction, amazing, call, cure, fast, humor, i, irony, moment, observation, phone, technology
Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

0

2 months ago

conversation, drink, fun, humor, much, party, say, socializing, too, whiskey

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

48 shares on Threads this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

84 shares on X this month:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Going viral on Slack:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Spotted on WeChat:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Trending via Twitch:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Spotted on Telegram:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Just landed via WeChat:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Just landed via Discord:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨