Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Breaking via Pinterest:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Netflix plays hard to get 😂📽️ #TeaseStreaming

autocomplete, disappointment, entertainment, finish, help, humor, movie, name, Netflix, streaming, technology, tell, typing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, argument, arguments, bang, comedy, disappear, flash, frustration, humor, i, idiots, sarcasm, self-expression, thinking, throw, wish, wishful, wishful thinking, witty
Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

0

2 months ago

backyard, body, cops, crime, dark, dark humor, deception, digging, ever, guy, humor, police, reputation, sarcasm
Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

0

2 months ago

answer, answering, asked, bottle, conversation, drink, hour, humor, i, know, me, misunderstanding, much, right, someone, spend, spending, wine
My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

0

2 months ago

book, fast, friend, frustration, humor, i, joy, life, read, reading, recommend, relationship, speed
He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

0

1 month ago

asking, Christmas, Christmas light, decoration, feet, holiday, holiday preparation, light, lights, preparation, realize, relationship, Saturday, surprise, task, untangling
Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

0

5 months ago

chaos, fit, hell, humor, i, right, shopping, today, Walmart, wild

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

47 shares on X this month:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

91 shares on Slack this month:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

23 shares on Slack this month:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Trending via Discord:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Breaking via Reddit:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Making waves on Reddit:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Making waves on Threads:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨