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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

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Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

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I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Spotted on Messenger:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Just landed via X:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Going bananas on TikTok:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Going viral on Threads:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Seen just now on Slack:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Netflix plays hard to get 😂📽️ #TeaseStreaming

autocomplete, disappointment, entertainment, finish, help, humor, movie, name, Netflix, streaming, technology, tell, typing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

1 month ago
cry, crypto, finance, humor, investment, joke, pun, spell, wordplay
Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

1 month ago
cooperating, cute, day, face, humor, self-deprecation, struggle, today, trying
My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

1 month ago
bar, dog, expectations, greet, home, humor, i, impossible, should, wife
The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

1 month ago
am, attraction, crush, eyes, flirting, humor, humor quote, i, joke, officer, playful, police, reason, romance, witty
Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

1 month ago
beautiful, blessing, cheerful, day, gratitude, humor, lord, nature, outdoors, positivity, smell, sunny, sunny day
Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

5 months ago
day, energetic, feeling, humor, i, maybe, morning, parallel, parallel universe, refreshed, somewhere, thinking, tiredness, universe, wake, wake up, wishful, wishful thinking

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Broadcasted on X:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Just shared via Threads:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Have you tried complaining about it?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

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Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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