Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

4,020

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Trending via Discord:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Going viral on Messenger:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Live now on WhatsApp:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Going viral on Threads:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Trending via Twitch:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

More funny quotes 👇

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

0

2 weeks ago

Christmas, communication, humor, ID, understanding, wish
In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

0

2 weeks ago

era, humor, internet, just, media, retweet, social, social media, speechless
Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

0

2 weeks ago

dating, Funny, funny observation, hard, hard to get, hard to want, humor, me, men, observation, playing, want
Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

0

2 weeks ago

across, book, brain, character, character name, characters, coming, confusion, every, humor, just, know, name, pronounce, pronunciation, reading, rest, time
That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

0

2 weeks ago

addiction, city, crack, date, drunk, getting, humor, joke, life, love, nightlife, relationship, say, thing, walkable, walkable city
If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

0

2 weeks ago

apology, attitude, expression, forget, humor, late, lateness, mad, office, punctuality, walk, work
If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

0

2 weeks ago

beef, celebrity, conflict, government, humor, lost, media, online, online beef, politics, pop, pop star, social, social media, star
Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

0

2 weeks ago

buying, Christmas, holiday, honesty, i, least, liar, present, presents, relationship, single
It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

0

2 weeks ago

accomplish, amazing, around, before, cleaning, coming, house, housework, humor, i, motivation, much, over, preparation, procrastination, productivity, right, someone, visitor
If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

0

2 weeks ago

buying, humor, ownership, owning, piracy, pirating, stealing, wordplay

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Discord this month:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

32 shares on Slack this month:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

22 shares on Reddit this month:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Spotted on Twitch:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Trending via YouTube:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Making waves on Snapchat:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Breaking via Slack:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Just shared via Twitch:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Just shared via Facebook:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Making waves on WeChat:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨