Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Making waves on TikTok:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Breaking via Slack:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Just landed via YouTube:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Shared recently on Threads:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Spotted on Messenger:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

More funny quotes 👇

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

0

2 weeks ago

advice, decision, heart, humor, irony, listen, people, right, right thing, same, say, thing, things
My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

0

2 weeks ago

climate, forever, gone, humor, keys, life, lost, lost keys, misfortune, name, new, new life, new name, relocation, snow, start, time, under, warmer, warmer climate
If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

0

2 weeks ago

billionaire, humor, irony, sarcasm, thing, trust, wealth
Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

0

2 weeks ago

after, artist, bartender, city, concert, flirt, humor, interaction, liked, most, show, social, social interaction, thinking
Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

0

2 weeks ago

AI, AI evolution, apocalypse, Cloudflare, ever, evolution, fail, humor, imagine, internet, internet outage, joke, kill, outage, survival, tech, tech fail, technology, thing, trying, us
My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

0

2 weeks ago

automatic, call, humor, just, messaging, sound, stomach, system, voice, voice messaging system
I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

0

2 weeks ago

day, getaway, Google, googled, health, humor, i, just, mountain, nature, need, romantic, symptom, symptoms
I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

0

2 weeks ago

age, asleep, fall, fall asleep, frisky, humor, movie, movie theater, relationship, theater, where
The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

0

2 weeks ago

best, confidence, ever, humor, lose, loss, motivation, opinion, opinions, self, self-confidence, weight, weight loss, wisdom
For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

0

2 weeks ago

Christmas, communication, humor, ID, understanding, wish

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on X this month:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

50 shares on Discord this month:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

77 shares on X this month:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

26 shares on Slack this month:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Happy new fear!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Trending via Reddit:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Making waves on Instagram:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Making waves on Instagram:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Seen just now on Threads:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Making waves on Slack:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Trending via Twitch:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨