Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Making waves on Threads:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Breaking via Instagram:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Going viral on Reddit:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Live now on Reddit:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, that escalated quickly! 🏃‍♂️💍➡️🏃‍♂️📜

cause, divorce, got, humor, i, joke, main, marriage, married, reason, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

0

6 days ago

around, ask, awkwardness, customer, humor, indecision, interaction, member, normal, person, shop, shopping, social, social interaction, something, staff, times, walk, works
Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

0

2 months ago

chaos, circus, current, entertainment, fine, fire, humor, monkey, politics, satire, state
When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

0

2 months ago

address, annoyance, email, frustration, humor, i, technology, TV, type, typing
I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

0

4 months ago

age, aging, bedtime, close, dangerously, dinner, dinner time, getting, humor, just, old, routine, saying, time
A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

0

2 months ago

cracked, egg, friend, friendship, good, good egg, humor, loyalty, support
An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

0

2 months ago

bad, doing, evil, evil genius, evil idiot, genius, idiot, idiots, insulting, least, position, power, rising, seeing, sense

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

11 shares on Slack this month:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Time needs a speed limit.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Making waves on Threads:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Spotted on Discord:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Just landed via Discord:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨