Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

400 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,669

Funny Quotes Topics

17,703

Funny Quotes Images

15,669

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Just shared via TikTok:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Breaking via Telegram:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Making waves on WeChat:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Trending via Pinterest:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Seen just now on TikTok:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Going viral on Facebook:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Just shared via Discord:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Making waves on Slack:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the secret level of professional napping! 🛌💤📈

9-5, 9-5 job, 95, crypto, dumb, honesty, i, influencer, influencing, job, laziness, lazy, making, making money, money, scam, self-doubt, shy, shyness, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

2 months ago

3, another, behavior, dating, humor, men, nice, only, personality, relationship, surprise, weeks
Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

5 months ago

actually, allowed, boundary, excuse, humor, i, just, love, myself, rule, rules, self-control, sorry
I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

2 months ago

girl, humor, i, love, relationship, single, surprise, today, wake, wake up
It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

2 months ago

attitude, card, cards, game, got, hand, hidden, humor, humor quote, luck, metaphor, play, skill, strategy
Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

2 months ago

always, app, apps, favorite, humor, kindness, kindness matters, know, matters, never, relationships, streaming, streaming app, subscriptions, unexpected
I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

3 months ago

15, age, boredom, boring, feeling, feeling old, humor, i, nostalgia, old, time, why, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

83 shares on Discord this month:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Spotted on Instagram:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Just landed via Twitch:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Trending via X:

Love is in the air fryer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨