Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,844

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Just landed via Discord:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Going viral on Slack:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Making waves on TikTok:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Trending via Pinterest:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Spotted on YouTube:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Making waves on YouTube:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

4 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the secret level of professional napping! 🛌💤📈

9-5, 9-5 job, 95, crypto, dumb, honesty, i, influencer, influencing, job, laziness, lazy, making, making money, money, scam, self-doubt, shy, shyness, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

0

1 month ago

call, couple, culture, fandom, geek, humor, joke, me, movie, movie reference, only, parody, people, pop, pop culture, reference, sci-fi, seen, star, Star Wars, times, Trekkie, wars
Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, bite, fantasy, humor, line, real, soon, supernatural, vampire, vampires
Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, jehovah’s, Jehovah’s Witness, jokes, knock, knock knock, religion, tell, witness, witnesses, worst
Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

0

1 month ago

away, comedy, emotional, emotional suppression, feelings, health, humor, i, jokes, mental, mental health, replace, right, sarcasm, self-deprecation, sorry, suppression, wit
The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

0

2 months ago

choice, choose, everyone, humor, partner, person, realist, relationship, right, romantic, work, wrong
Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

0

2 months ago

Beyoncé, broke, broken, broken down, car, case, celebrity, cleaned, cleaning, close, house, humor, just, preparation, room, sleep, somewhere

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Just shared via Messenger:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Trending via TikTok:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Spotted on WeChat:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Live now on TikTok:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Just shared via Discord:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Live now on WeChat:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Trending via Threads:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨