Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Spotted on Pinterest:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Spotted on Messenger:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Just shared via TikTok:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Spotted on Discord:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Just shared via Facebook:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When stretching turns into a strategic game of Twister! 🕺🌀🤣

50s, age, aging, fitness, humor, middle, middle age, stretch, stretching, welcome, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

0

4 months ago

avoid, avoid work, avoidance, going, humor, only, procrastination, relief, stress, stress relief, work, work avoidance, work stress
I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

0

2 months ago

afraid, blair, Blair Witch, childhood, comedy, fear, horror, humor, i, me, movie, project, saw, too, witch, young
My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

0

2 months ago

communication, distraction, eyes, hearing, humor, i, listening, not hearing, right, single, superpower, talking, word
Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

0

2 months ago

amazing, blessing, family, humor, irony, kid, kids, learn, music, parent, parents, talent, trumpet
The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

0

5 months ago

book, books, buying, humor, me, reading, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, shopping, tension
There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

0

2 months ago

apparently, big, big cat, case, casual, cat, coolers, cougar, cougar warning, humor, i, just, misunderstanding, neighborhood, neighborhood safety, nothing, safety, warning, wine, wine coolers

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

98 shares on Slack this month:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

43 shares on X this month:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Just shared via Reddit:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Seen just now on Discord:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Just shared via Threads:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Just shared via YouTube:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Making waves on Reddit:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Making waves on Threads:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Going viral on Messenger:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨