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Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

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Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

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Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

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When youโ€™re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

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Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

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I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

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It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

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When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Commentary:
Well, ain't that the bearded truth! ๐Ÿง”๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿผโ€๐Ÿฆฑ Remember, gentlemen, a compliment for a compliment keeps the grooming game strong! ๐Ÿ’ช Let's spread the love, one whisker at a time! ๐Ÿ˜„ #BeardAndBoujee



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