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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Trending via Pinterest:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Going viral on Pinterest:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Live now on Pinterest:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Going viral on WeChat:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Live now on YouTube:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Deciphering my notes is like living with an amateur escape room designer. 🤔🕵️‍♂️✍️ #MysteryInTheMargins"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on WeChat this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

73 shares on Slack this month:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

40 shares on Threads this month:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Just shared via TikTok:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Just shared via Discord:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Just landed via Telegram:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Going viral on Facebook:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

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