Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,230

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Breaking via Telegram:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Breaking via Slack:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Maybe they bleeped out R2D2 because he had a beep mouth! 🤖🤐 #BeepBeepCensorship

bleep, dialogue, everything, humor, movie, R2D2, robot, sci-fi, star, Star Wars, wars, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

0

2 months ago

backfire, daily, daily grind, going, grind, humor, irony, job, me, struggle, times, work
Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

0

4 months ago

calendar, crying, emotion, humor, i, know, mood, needs, nonsense, over, period, PMS, sensitivity, things
Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, age, excuse, friend, help, humor, joke, move, welcome
My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beautiful side, circle, everyone, family, humor, i, mom, perspective, self-deprecation, side
screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

0

2 months ago

close, close friend, friend, friends, interaction, media, online, online interaction, own, posting, prank, screenshot, social, social media, story
I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

0

5 months ago

bar, before, crash, disappointed, disappointment, even, Google, humor, i, instruction, instructions, listen, name, results, sarcasm, search, under, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Facebook this month:

My recliner and I go way back.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

84 shares on Slack this month:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Shared recently on Discord:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Trending via TikTok:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Shared recently on Discord:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Breaking via Instagram:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨