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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Just shared via X:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Spotted on TikTok:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Spotted on X:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Just shared via Discord:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Maybe they bleeped out R2D2 because he had a beep mouth! 🤖🤐 #BeepBeepCensorship

bleep, dialogue, everything, humor, movie, R2D2, robot, sci-fi, star, Star Wars, wars, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You wish you had this many chins.

0

2 months ago

body, body positivity, chin, funny remark, humor, positivity, remark, self-deprecation, wish
As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

0

2 months ago

context, humor, intelligence, outsider, view
Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

0

2 months ago

ant, ants, beauty, beauty brand, brand, cream, face, face cream, humor, product, size, skincare
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

0

5 months ago

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman
“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

0

2 months ago

bro, friendship, hang, humor, isolation, myself, self
The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

0

2 months ago

28, 28 Days, apocalypse, Britain, comedy, days, exist, handle, hilarious, humor, idea, independence, international, own, rest, satire, saw, series, world, zombie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Discord this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Just shared via Instagram:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Trending via Instagram:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Just landed via Slack:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Spotted on Reddit:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Going viral on Twitch:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You wish you had this many chins.

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨