Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Just landed via Threads:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Shared recently on Threads:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Seen just now on Threads:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Going bananas on X:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your car thinks it's auditioning for Fast & Furious, but you're stuck in a red-light sequel! 🚗💨🎬😂

driving, end, just, light, me, next, rage, right, road, road rage, stop, stop light, terrible, traffic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on WeChat this month:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

60 shares on Messenger this month:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Just landed via TikTok:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Just landed via Instagram:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Making waves on Discord:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Keep the laugh going 😂

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨