Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Live now on Pinterest:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Breaking via Messenger:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Freshly posted on Slack:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Just shared via TikTok:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Just shared via Discord:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Just shared via Facebook:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Going viral on Threads:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text highlighting humorous frustration about coincidental parking at a stoplight.

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Commentary:
When your car thinks it's auditioning for Fast & Furious, but you're stuck in a red-light sequel! 🚗💨🎬😂

driving, end, just, light, me, next, rage, right, road, road rage, stop, stop light, terrible, traffic

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Slack this month:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

21 shares on Facebook this month:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I love having plans to cancel.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Going bananas on Telegram:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Spotted on YouTube:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Going bananas on Instagram:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Just shared via Instagram:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Seen just now on Reddit:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨