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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Trending via Discord:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Going bananas on Slack:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Just landed via TikTok:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Seen just now on Threads:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Going viral on Discord:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

2 months ago

0

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your sheets are the real haunted house! 🕯️👻 Better keep them clean—ghosts or no ghosts, nobody wants bed bugs or ghostly residue haunting their dreams! 😴🧼✨ Remember, even spirits appreciate a fresh start! 😉🛏️

always, case, cleanliness, ghosts, humor, hygiene, laundry, need, once, routine, sheets, should, shower, spooky, wash, week, weekly, weekly routine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

0

2 months ago

computer, fix, generation, humor, i, kids, knows, older, only, parents, technology, work, young, youth
You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

0

2 months ago

burger, Burger King, Burger Kingdom, crown, fast, fast food, food, food humor, got, humor, humor quote, just, king, kingdom, legitimacy, parody, question, satire
I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

0

2 months ago

burrito, car, cars, case, cooking, driving, food, humor, i, just, keep, multitasking, seat, seat warmer, warm, warmer, warming
Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

0

2 months ago

accidental, accidental click, accidentally, activity, algorithm, click, different, Facebook, humor, identity, media, much, online, online activity, person, post, social, social media, technology, UFO
The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

0

2 months ago

berry, elderberry, fruit, humor, knowledge, most, wisdom
I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

0

2 months ago

attitude, dark, dark humor, here, humor, irony, joy, just, little, mood, optimism, positivity, resilience, spread, trying, while, world, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

27 shares on X this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,307

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Making waves on Twitch:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Making waves on Reddit:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Going viral on Twitch:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Making waves on Messenger:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Making waves on YouTube:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Going viral on Threads:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

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