Funny aging humor quotes

• Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

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  2 months ago

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• It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

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  2 months ago

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• Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

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  2 months ago

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• Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

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  2 months ago

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• After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

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  2 months ago

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• You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

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  2 months ago

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• One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

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  2 months ago

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• I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

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  3 months ago

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