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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Going viral on Reddit:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Just landed via X:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Live now on Snapchat:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Home » Funny Announcement Quotes

Funny announcement quotes

Funny announcement quotes bring a burst of laughter to any big news or celebration 🎉😂 Whether you’re sharing exciting updates or surprising friends, a clever twist of humor keeps everyone entertained and eager for more 🤩📢 Get ready to brighten up your announcements with witty vibes and smile-worthy words that turn ordinary moments into unforgettable memories! 😜✨

New funny announcement quotes 👇

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

0

2 months ago

announce, announcement, deep, feeling, frustration, heart, heavy, heavy heart, humor, i, irony, job, sadness, work
We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

0

2 months ago

activity, announcement, back, fun, fun activity, love, movie, plan, putting, random, secret, surprise, tell, theater, Tuesday, unexpected, Wednesday
THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

0

2 months ago

3, achievement, activity, announce, announcement, celebration, days, event, fun, fun activity, gathering, gatherings, i, Ironman, social, social gathering, thrill, thrilled, weekend
If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

0

2 months ago

announcement, change, changing, conversation, family, holiday, humor, politics, pregnancy, pregnant, subject, subject change, talking, Thanksgiving
If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

0

2 months ago

announce, announcement, bear, cave, curiosity, fun, humor, i, just, last, last post, media, playful, post, sabbatical, social, social media, something, take, wonder
I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, am, announcement, fight, humor, irony, proud, sobriety, struggle, winning
I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

0

2 months ago

am, announcement, bravery, dark, dark room, funny moment, humor, i, moment, mouse, myself, room, self-awareness, whenever, yesterday

All funny announcement quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WeChat this month:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

82 shares on Slack this month:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

44 shares on X this month:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

46 shares on Reddit this month:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends with consequences.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,048

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Trending via X:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Seen just now on Slack:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Trending via Twitch:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Breaking via X:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Live now on Twitch:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

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